I took my job as a defense attorney knowing that most people would view what I do as “letting the bad people go.” Granted the money is better and the experience is unbelievable, but there still has to be something positive about what I do everyday to make it justifiable to myself. Many in my position would probably say “I’m upholding the Constitution” or “everyone deserves a lawyer”. I feel that both are excellent reasons to be a defense attorney, but my reason to combat all the bad people I let go is that every once in a while I do something good. Granted it’s not every day, or even every week, but every so often I feel that I helped someone make a difference in their life.
For a while I was inspired by the guy who didn’t care what I did on his case, all he wanted me to do was help him find a place to live. Otherwise he knew he and I would be meeting again and again and again. And I did, I made the calls and got him in touch with the right people and I haven’t seen him again. It takes a lot to ask someone for help, and I was impressed that he did. I can honestly say professionally I didn’t do much for him, but personally I went over and beyond. And that made me feel like I did something good as a defense attorney.
Then I was inspired by the older gentleman who had gotten his first DUI and had hired me to represent him. I was excited when I learned that it was beatable, but he wasn’t interested. What mattered to him was that this was his wake-up call that he had a problem. If he hadn’t gotten the DUI, he never would have gotten help. So he just wanted to get the court part over with and continue with his rehabilitation. So despite losing my chance at a professional win, I did what he asked and I’ve never seen him back in court again.
I enjoy the cases where people recognize they need drug treatment, and then they take the steps to get it. The majority of crime is because of drugs. Whether it’s possessing drugs, selling drugs, stealing for money to buy drugs, assaulting people because you’re on drugs, drugs are the root to most crimes. So when people finally see the connection and want to stop it, I’m ecstatic. And I will do all I can to help them get the treatment they need.
So that gets me to today. I had a case that ended in June, that I had probably been working on for 6 months. It was a young girl, she had just become an adult, who had a serious drug problem. If you saw her on the street or where she worked you would never know. I’d even say she looks like me, brown hair, petite, intelligent, she looks normal. Except for the fact that she wears long sleeves year round to cover up the bruising and needle marks on her arms.
When I met her she was taking steps to get help; she was trying medication to reduce the cravings, she was on the list for rehab, she was attending weekly meetings. I got her through her case and kept her out of jail because I had faith that she was going to clean up her act. She wanted to and from when I first met her to our last time in court she looked so much better. I thought that I was helping her out by keeping her out of jail so that she could get the treatment she desperately needed. So that she could start going to community college and reach her goal of going to Virginia Tech. Oh yeah, and to get her back to her mother who’s dying of cancer.
Well Friday I got the call that she was picked up on a bench warrant because she had violated her probation. Less than a month from her court date, she got new charges, failed to follow directions, had a positive drug test, and hadn’t gotten treatment. I was disappointed, disenchanted. I couldn’t even talk to her because I was personally so disappointed that someone I had put so much faith in, had failed me. So I went to see her in jail today. And she had spent the weekend detoxing, which I can only imagine is excrutiating. And she still wants help and treatment. And she didn’t bullshit me with excuses. She was honest and truthful and again wanted my help, but a little part of me lost faith in her and the reason I do this job today.
So hopefully tomorrow, my new inspiration will walk into my office to pick me up from my client’s defeat. So that I’m not just letting bad people out. Cause I assure you I’ve yet to let a bad person out thus far.
